Where do you run to?

girl

 

Time is short. I oft feel whirly just thinking about how to use the golden minutes when my baby sleeps.

Do I attempt a blog, tick off admin, eat, rest, save the world? I once read about how for one woman having a baby provided the impetus to really write. She knew she had just precious minutes to write before her baby would wake up and need her – and so write she would. The challenge spurred her on. Me, I want to write. I want to move toward fulfilling my life’s mission through writing in some way. Yes. And yet, I run to food.

When the baby is down, sometimes after ages, my first urge is EAT. Yes, it could be attributed to my massive appetite and to nursing. But at the end of the day, when the food is long gone, and digested or digesting, and my sweet children are sleeping and the same appetite that was once satiated is hungry yet again I am left longing for something concrete to have defined my day. A way of having clutched hold of time, and done my thing for the broader world. Instead, one step in front of the next, I arrive at my too-late bedtime where I collapse for a few interrupted hours of sleep. And start all over again.

I live more to eat, than eat to live. No doubt food is filling a hole and distracting me from doing what I burn to do.

I bless us all with clarity and discipline to run to the right things. To fill each moment and the accumulation of moments called life with meaning. For one thing is certain. A moment can never be relived. My daughter, my 3 year-old in panties, is no longer the baby in nappies that I knew. That baby is a mirage, she has “disappeared into the sands of time” and so it goes with life.

Aim for the week: Run to write. Run to right. Run to life.

About Loren

Writer.
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