On Our Side


Can we treat our needs as sacred? Can we embrace our needs without feeling guilty and without a need to justify them?

I’ve often heard the idea that as a mom, if I get a babysitter more, I will ultimately be able to be a more recharged, present and happier mother. Most probably. But, in a parenting course I did a few months ago, the facilitator brought up the possibility that perhaps we need the babysitter or need to do x,y and z because we are human beings and have needs. Full stop. No need to explain or apologize or center it around our children even. We are whole people with many facets, right?

But there is something in society that makes us downplay our needs and be there for everyone before ourselves. And although at times this is a magnanimous and amazing quality, I think many people are starved of even the ability to recognize and acknowledge their own needs. (Note: the opposite extreme of course would make for a very self-centered, me me me, hedonistic society and I am not advocating that.)

Instead, I want to encourage myself and us all to spend more time alone and get to know ourselves and find out what it is that we need physically, emotionally, spiritually. And although, there will be times when we cannot meet our needs exactly as we’d like, I think that an effort to do what is possible, will go a long way in demonstrating to ourselves that we are on our own side.

About Loren

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