Growing up, I valued the idea of saying your piece. To not hold things in and be walked all over, but to defend yourself if need be and not let anybody treat you badly. This was a result of watching someone in my life not speak their mind and instead carry the unexpressed energy in their body, as they repeatedly considered “what if I did things differently? What if I had spoken up”. I learnt from that, that we always must be proactive and direct in the moment. Say your piece and never let anyone treat you badly.
Fast forward a few decades. I am realizing that the highest road is not always that road. That there may be a time to just suck up a hurtful comment and not retort with anything, especially in a case when the person lashing out is not able to hear or digest your response. My aim is to feel the awakened pain within without running away from it. To transform my ego in the process and thus make myself really strong. And to send love back to the person who did the hurting. Let it belong to them. If we were all living in balance and truth, we would not feel the need to hurt or judge or break people down rather than build them up.
This is not easy work for me. I have a fierce ego and a need to be right and appreciated. For the most part, I don’t laugh easily at the presence of my flaws and I am a perfectionist.
Though there may be a time when it will be appropriate or even necessary to say my piece as I once would have, for the most part my aim is to love myself and laugh at myself more. So that if a dart should come my way, like the one that once pierced my insides, it will have no place to stick to and will fall to the floor weakly. I want the focus to be on being all I can be.
On a bigger level, if I can be all I can be as a partner, friend, relative, community member and nation member, and more of us have that intention in mind, then if anyone or anything seeks to undermine us, we will be amazing and we will be untouchable. So too, their dart will fall to the floor.