It’s Not about Me


I heard a magnificent thing said by a friend about to get married.

For many years, she had prayed to find her soul mate, and eventually, after years of trying she was at peace with the possibility that she may remain single and may not find her partner in life. She felt happy in herself and with her life. But then, it dawned on her that if “he” is in fact out there; that if he really exists and if he needs her, then instead of praying to find him, she should pray that he finds her. And that if the world needs their light as a whole, then that should be her prayer. And so pray she did to the point of uncontrollable sobbing. Half a year later they found each other.

Though perhaps not new for some, for me what she said was a revelation. And a few days later it hit me that this precious idea can be transferred to many or even all of our authentic dreams, wishes and yearnings. I realized I need to shift the focus of my prayers.

Take, for example, my almost achy desire to write about life in a way that helps people feel heard and understood and not alone. I have been praying for the opportunity to make a difference through my writing but it’s been centered on my fulfillment and not around that someone out there that may really exist and may benefit greatly from what I have to say. And if they are out there feeling isolated and hopeless, I need to do it. The stakes are that much greater. I simply have to look the voices of doubt in the eyes that try to lead me astray and to remain faithful to an ever-present truth.

“For, yes, I see now that it is not about me. It is about you – you out there who could benefit from my writing – and about you G-d, and about bringing light and truth and healing into the world. May I figure out how to go about living my mission day to day so that you who need me, find me really soon.”

May we all be blessed to have the opportunity to fulfill our dreams, not for our own sake or for the sake of ego. But for the sake of a light and beauty and colour that is bursting to enter and uplift and transform the world, and for those out there that need us. May we never resign ourselves, and never give up trying.

About Loren

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