A line is a line is a line. Except that it it’s not.
The other night, I was blessed to listen to the founder of my daughter’s particular style of nursery school speak. A very wise woman, she spoke of a study where students were made to draw identical lines. Try as they may, no two lines turned out the same. Everyone is an individual and no system can rob a person of that. Just as they claim that no two snowflakes have ever looked completely alike.
I was thinking how I often feel so strongly and write about the commonalities in our human struggle and experience, but I wanted to clarify to myself and to the world, that that goes together with being the different and unique person that we are and bringing our respective piece to the world.
Last week, I was at a friend, relaying to her the complexities of a situation I had faced and all my opposing feelings all at once, both in the moment and when I looked back on it. I watched as she nodded, a little overwhelmed, trying to follow my darting thoughts. I guessed her standpoint on it, but I wanted to be open and honest that mine was not so simple and I could not and do not feel comfortable with what could be the objective spiritual truth in the matter.
And the thoughts crept in, “if only I was simpler?” “Why can’t I see things more black and white?” “Why can’t I be more like other people?” And I felt sad. But then something unusual happened. Instead of running from the sadness, I found myself welcoming it in, and feeling it. And almost being okay with its presence. And then I heard myself speaking words along these lines to her, and they ring true for me.
I want to accept and hold all parts of myself at once. Without judgment. I am who I am for a reason and the fact that I see all colors inbetween the black and white could well be for a reason and I suspect part of my life mission. It does not make life easy but who says life should be easy and perhaps it is not something I need to change but to use and channel in the best way possible.
My question to me and to you: Could there be an amazing gift in one of the things that you like least about yourself?
With our eye at all times on G-d and goodness and humanity, may we all be who we are. Be true to ourselves. Be true to truth.