Being a victim comes with a heavy price. It almost never works for long to get people on your side and somehow has the opposite effect. The very people one intends to arouse sympathy from almost always pull further away.
There is something so depleting about the energy of victimhood. It’s the opposite of empowerment.
When it surfaces in a person I care deeply about, which it often does, it makes me want to shout and scream and shake them and cry all at once. For I feel so sad for the perceived sadness in their reality. And I cannot make it better.
How do you find patience in a painful situation which seems unsolvable and endless? How do you find compassion for someone in such a low space that they can’t see beyond themselves and their apparent hard-done by reality?
How do you separate totally and find comfort in the truth that you can only do what you can, whatever that is. That each person makes choices and is responsible only for their own life. That I can’t change anybody else’s world but mine.
And that’s no easy task either. When victimhood rears its head within me, it has a clingy, needy, insatiable and desperate quality about it, that makes it so difficult to shrug off. But it’s possible. It doesn’t serve me and it does not serve anybody.
In the light of consciousness and with a lot of hard work and support, I hope to believe victimhood can quickly lose its power. And with a lot of reinforcement of the bigger picture. A reminder that all is as it’s supposed to be. Things have their own ebb and flow, and you can fight all you want with life, but it may not make a difference apart from wearing you out. That sometimes letting go is the most true and least passive thing you can do.
And through gratitude. To quote a combination of my husband and his Rabbi, all problems of the mind, all things ego can be solved through gratitude. For it tunes us in to a different frequency of life. Where all is good, we are blessed and aware of it, we see our riches and not our lack and live firmly in the beautiful reality of the now and what is.
May those of us who struggle with victims in our lives find a sense of peace and relief. And when we see the quality in ourselves, may we celebrate the recognition and listen to the message it brings with it. There may be times we need help. So I bless us all to believe that life leans toward us and that good is possible. To be be big enough to remain in gratitude always, to ask for what we need unashamedly, and to have the clarity, energy and strength to take action in all areas of life.